Here There Be Dragons

I come away from this ANWA writing conference renewed, reenergized, recharged and with "grit."

And what I have to say, I say especially to my own children and to my youth friends--you know who you are.

I have "always" believed in my children, always. There are so many parents out there, who don't believe in their own children,  who don't open eyes to show what they are capable of doing or becoming, who don't mentor them toward success in life, education, or eternal life, who don't invest time with them to encourage the development of that gifted soul, and it's sad.
In my writing life-- especially when I go to schools on author visits, those are the kids I try to reach the most. If you have wonderful nurturing engaged parents that lift and build you, be grateful, count your blessings, and listen to them. Parents are your biggest fans!

I had the most incredible experience in meeting the magnificent James Owen. My heart is still racing. Not because he's superman (literally) donning a superman ring as his wedding ring, wearing a superman shirt under his dress shirt, and carrying a superman seal in his pocket, which his young son also carries when James is away. Not because he's a millionaire with a plethora of high book sales and is making a movie with the Lord of the Rings crew. Not even because he's so huge that I feel like a nymph standing next to him in comparison---but because of the words he said to me after lunch, when he invited our conversation to carry on, inviting me to join him at the lunch table. After many left, we continued to talk in depth as he shared his career story with me, and asked me to share mine with him--including my slump in being told again and again I'm good but not edgy enough and controversy sells. (Words to make me never want to publish again.)

"You already know you're good. When you're good, sometimes you have to bold and tell others their wrong. You can do this. You can do anything you set your mind to. You might have to revise your novels 21 times to do it, but you can, and it's worth it." Pause... "I'm going to give you a card, and right now it's what you need to hear from me most." It was a small card, a card with a red dragon. It reads, "I believe in you." He signed it for me and it's going on my computer.

Okay youth friends, listen up. If I've ever shared my heart with you, I'm telling you from the core what I want you to hear right now. With every tiny measure of matter that makes me me, I want you to know you are unique. Heavenly Father has a plan, (just -for -you.)  And if you listen, as He leads you along in your choosing correct principals,  You will hear him saying, "I believe in you. You have a greater purpose--(realization of what that is will come later of course) but here's the catcher, "I will not let you fall."
There is a story behind that last line that Jaimie shared as our closing keynote, but I felt that truth all through me, as I heard this from him.  You have a purpose (that is all your own) and your Father in Heaven will not let you fall. You will get bumps and scrapes, having to climb up some rocky surfaces sure---but in the end, you will reach that potential, and the view will be glorious. The younger you start making smart, bold, correct, and meaningful choices, the sooner you will find your way to becoming who the Lord would have you be. Your parents can be your greatest support. At age 14, this guy was already submitting to DC comics, and I can give you a long list of his unyielding boldness from there.
You can do whatever you put your mind to if you want it. But no one can help you if you don't want it. It's like the Chautauqua banquet prayer, "Help us to realize it's not who we are that holds us back, but who we think we are not." Realization takes bold action. As Jaimie put it Are you the kind of person who just lets things happen? Or are you the kind of person that makes things happen?
When he asked me at lunch, it was something I'd never thought about before. But, I have made some bold moves and choices. If I wasn't bold...I wouldn't be a published author, a public speaker, or talking face to face with Superman without shaking in my socks.

This was just what I needed to delve back in to my writing. My health back, my thinking clear, I am ready to come home and be bold.  I hope my youth friends will be bold, too.
This life is all about choices. If you think about it, and that word choices encompasses EVERYTHING this life is about--that's all it's about, choices. The rest falls into place according to our choices.  We can still choose right, even when things are tough and wrong in outside influence. That sadly might be home, that might be peers, that might be health, or the economy. We are all survivors, as we pass through whatever life wants to hurl at us with both hands. With trial we strengthen our resolve which just brings us closer to what the Lord has for us to do as we overcome and thus become refined.
And when life is sweet, it's very sweet. Who knows how much time any of us has---the point is to choose to use the time we have to our best advantage for our long term joy.
Got a dream?
Stand up, speak up, act up, be bold for you.
"I" believe in you. Face your dragons.
If you choose to follow God's divine plan for you,
He will not let you fall.

Potholes According to Pilots

Sometime ago, on a plane trip home from Highlights, I was privileged to sit next to a pilot. She was going home after her long route. We talked about how, ever since she was a little girl, she'd been prepared to fly. She shared the rush she felt when her father took her up in his private plane throughout her childhood, and of all the time she spent on the airfield. She said she was born with wings. As our own pilot warned us about upcoming turbulence, I asked the lady pilot how pilots navigated through the rough. She shot me a straight white smile. "Turbulence," she said, "is what pilots love best. They're like bumps in the road. When there are small controlled air pockets, you generally don't feel them because all we have to do is go higher or lower in elevation to avoid it, just like you'd go around a pothole in the road. It makes the flight boring for the pilot, but we like the boring just because it makes the passengers feel safe. Really, you're safe when you feel turbulence. Air pockets are just like bumps in the road, you just keep going forward because the bigger bumps can't always be avoided."

I thought of this conversation this morning, and caught a glimmer of a lesson as I pondered my latest trial.

I'm not going to go into deep details, but this past year,  numerous physical challenges effected my quality of life. I went from heels to flats, from outgoing to quiet, and have been laying low doing just what I can in some facets of my life, and nothing at all in others because I lost the capability to function in those areas--namely my writing and other areas of concentration.

I've been seeing doctors to take care of these changes as they occur. First, were harsh ongoing abdominal pain issues, then came midlife's physical changes, but the worst was the latest, which effected the parts of me that make me who I am. Balance, Muscle strength, and thought process, speech, and retention, memory lapse, concentration.  I was having headaches, ringing in the ears, strange changes for me. The change in my wellbeing was so quick, real, and frightening. I kept a journal of all the oddities I noticed happening with my mind and body, which served my doctor well.

My wonderful doctor, who has been my doctor for 14 years, is so good, and knew conditions with me  were not right.  First, she solved the incredibly painful stomach issues. It took some time but it turned out to be my diet; that being sugar substitutes doing more damage than good for my body.   Mid life symptoms warranted blood work.  She found B-12 deficiency and need for estrogen. The B-12 is a nervous system vitamin and just in case the gait/ functioning issues were more, she sent me to a neurologist.

Smart cookie that I am--I took my notebook and put in my symptoms altogether on Google. Up popped MS, and as I studied and read about the disease and saw the same signs, I wondered. I have friends living with MS and an aunt who died from it.  When I failed the neurosurgeon's finger to my nose test and then his heal to toe gait test, I was bothered and just came out with it. "Could it be MS?"

I learned Doctor's lie.
"I was going to do an MRI," he said, "and lets also do a contrast MRI to give you piece of mind, but no, I don't think you have MS."

Yesterday, I saw the several brain scans. And I saw the same person, but a different doctor. The happy, light tone of first meeting had changed.

I've been on B12 faithfully, and he told me to begin yoga to work on balance. I've been faithful and I am no longer as he called me, "a weeble that wabbles but won't fall down." There was no need for me to over correct to keep myself from falling. My balance was stronger. This time,  I touched his finger, then my nose instead of missing, and as we sat to look at the many scans of what he called my "beautiful brain," I was struck by the seriousness of his slow quiet tone.  "I was relieved to find no signs of MS," he said. He showed me what an MS brain would look like. My brain had clean lines and looked great all around. As he spoke, I realized that he thought I really could have had MS when he first saw me. That was the only reason for the MRI and contrast MRI. --and then he added in all seriousness with a cracking voice, how happy he was to see what he sees and that he hopes he never has to see me again. Adding he meant that in the kindest way.

You hate getting older because with every doctor visit, you fear with age that something will be found eventually. That moment when that solemn doctor unveiled his true thinking, opened my eyes. And as I thought of that pilot controlling what she has the power to control, I realized she's not so unlike me.

There are some bumps I can go around in choosing better. Health takes care, self discipline, and even self mastery.  I almost feel Scrooged, only instead of three ghosts, I saw several brain images. Clean. It makes me want to take better care of myself for keeping young, active, able, and fit.

As for the bumps I can't control...   I'll just keep going forward, and let faith smooth it all out.

Choice and Accountability #9

Making choices is part of Heavenly Father's plan for us. The bodies he has given us are our responsibility. Establish a pattern of wise body management by making a plan for workouts and healthy eating, including endurance, strength, and rest (sleep) and menus. Live within this plan for three months. Set priorities that allow you to meet your health and fitness goals. Record what you learn and how following these patterns will continue to bless your life.