My stomach is twisting and turning this morning. That usually means I've gone too long without eating, or that something is up. In todays case, I know it's the latter. For the past three mornings, I've waken to the realization that after August third, I'll wake and Jennifer won't be here. ...so I'm now turning the situation on it's head to cope with that, finding myself telling myself, "in less than one year Jennifer will be coming home." I'm thinking about all the exchange student homecomings happening now. J and I ran into an exchange Mom at Subway just last week and she was so elated with just 36 hours and counting before her daughter, gone to Thailand, returned. Jennifer and I are not just mother and daughter. She let me also become her friend at an early age and we are so close.
At first the exchange was exciting. We love exchange students, hosting and getting to know students from other countries and cultures. Although we went through the beginning outbound process, our elder daughter was chosen second to a girl who had experience with exchange students. We had none at the time. Jennifer has wanted to go on long term exchange since she was tiny, with a growing interest in the world's languages, and now for a year she'll be a student in Finland.
Up until now, I've felt nothing but extreme excitement and an overwhelming joy for her. But the Momma heartstrings are getting tugged at these last days, and I'm finding since girl's camp that I'm selfishly grasping at every small moment I can find to be near her. She's at the Old fashioned festival right now gearing up to flip pancakes for Rotary's pancake breakfast. I just look at this girl and I marvel.
She's about to have so many amazing adventures, living in a place that can reach 30 below zero, among northern lights and frozen ocean, and, at the same time a midnight summer sun. Finland is a magical place filled with uniqueness. School for her begins in two short weeks. New halls, new faces, new language, new family, new friends, new culture, new life.
At the same time, it's an amazing thing to be where exchange students gather. There's an automatic bond all around, and the pettiness/ cliquish social habits/ judging that you might see in a high school setting, among students, is not present. They're all instant friends on the same ground, in the same situation. I see Jennifer welcomed, respected, well liked, inclusion, and having been around youth in many scenarios, I think--why can't high school be like that? I see her learning, growing, stretching outside her comfort zone, and beyond happy. I see she belongs, and that she knows she belongs, and it's crazy. For Jennifer, it's perfect.
For me, it's going to also be new. I wasn't quite expecting to have the last of my children leave the nest two years early. What's it going to be like to suddenly have no children at home? To not have schedules that stretch my sane ability? What's it going to be like to shop for just two? Cook for just two, and sometimes one? So many questions and I just don't know. Especially now I'm glad to have my son and daughter in law at least near. And I'm glad my husband is working from home more. This change is going to feel strange. Even as good and as exciting as this situation is. I'm about to grow in a new kind of way, and I think I'm about to learn more about myself as well as I see how well I adapt, as Jennifer learns to adapt in her new surroundings. For her it's an experience north, and for me a North Experiment.
I am excited to see her journey through her. What an amazing opportunity! That keeps me smiling. :)
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