Uh Oh, It's Ophelia!

An interesting thing happened on the way home from the DMV today. It's sounds like the hook for an upcoming joke, but what I experienced wasn't funny, and it gave me something to ponder.

Somewhere along the road, I ended up following a vehicle licensed, "Ophelia." I followed Ophelia for an excruciatingly long time. The vehicle was driven by a man. When the road ran with double no passing lines, the car went beyond slow, and when it broke into passing lines it sped up fast and short until it came again to double lines and slowed to just below 20 on straight roads with posted 45 speeds.

At first I was frustrated that I could not progress beyond this person who was getting a thrill of holding me back. The joy was obvious in the tortoise and hare race, both characters played by the front driver dependent upon the markings of the road. As I marveled at the selfish behavior of the man behind the wheel, thoughts filled my head.

This person is not unlike the people, elements, and worldly barriers that keep us from progressing. As children and youth, we are dependent upon others to help us in the discovery and encouragement of the wonderful strengths we posses. Some Ophelia's, in our individual lives, might be so uncomfortable within their own selves and choices, they thoughtlessly press to stunt us from progressing beyond where they are to save themselves from the guilt or sorrow of their own choices or situation. Some Ophelias might be insecure beings and try to keep us only unto them, as with a manipulating boyfriend or peer. Ophelias can also be self doubt, our own fear of success. We are blessed to have mentors in parents, teachers, and leaders that love us enough to help us to become visible to the many gifts that were given to us from above, and to provide those growth avenues to grow these gifts, ability, exploration, and learning.

When the driver finally pulled off, he continued at a rapid pace having finished his game. No one held me back. I suddenly had the agency I needed to move forward, feeling like I was at last progressing toward home. The open road felt wonderful with my mind opened wide to all that I could see ahead. Vision was now clear without the larger vehicle blocking my view, where earlier, I could not see the direction I needed to go before me.

Unlike selfish barriers, the loving Lord shows us vast growing room. Opportunity is our surroundings all the way home. Our Father in Heaven wants us to progress to our highest and best ability. He, as the greatest of all parents and mentors, not only tells us what to do, but God shows us the way.

This brings me to my new Personal Progress Value. Choice and Accountability #1. "A daughter of God can make wise decisions. Read and follow a pattern of prayer and scripture study to receive help in making good personal decisions."

Choices have two sides, always. Avoiding being blindsided by the adversary, the road is wide with opportunity and assistance at every which way for good and growing outcomes. God's promises are sure, as is His guiding hand.

More or less, Less is More

I'm not sure who came up with the idea that to balance is to simplify, but after this week I know that core truth is sheer wisdom.

As all these projects in personal progress come to be, all these changes I've set up for myself, my stomach starts in, and day by day it turns more sour. I just couldn't figure out why. Then I became restless in my sleep, so I began to question. Is there something I'm missing, maybe something I'm afraid of but in unawares? I took this to the Lord in prayer and then laid in my bed at night, sorting my thoughts, and compartmentalizing what that might be. My new calling? no. Going back to school? no. Losing my writing? no. Falling short in home and family? no. Other church duties? no. My writer opportunities? no. But when I put it all together--yes.

I knew instantly I'd been biting on too much at once--as with a mouthful of heavy meat that would cause one to choke if swallowed.

Teaching early morning seminary + time for proper preparation to be a successful teacher+ returning to college full time+ 2 hrs study to every hour in class to be that successful student+ home upkeep and family attentions and J's own schooling and being present when Dave is out of town to be a successful wife and mother+ J's now more serious evening ballroom dance classes/ performances + mutual to be a successful support for my daughter+ visiting/ home teaching to be a successful friend +putting in daily writing time and getting myself and books out there to be a successful writer= a feeling I needed to seek out wisdom from Dad, and a knowledge it's not adding up right. Things were already slipping through the cracks.

I adore my Dad Ries. We sat down with my school schedule and he showed me that without anything else my classes equalled a 40 hr. work week alone. He showed me going back to school for me at this stage, is now more about enlightenment than a needed degree for a sustaining career. Beloved Mom Ries showed me how much work I've yet to do just here at home, within my own family and how I needed to guard that time for Jenn. In their wisdom, I cut classes back to where I can ease into education and maintain that happy balance. It was good.

Today in seminary inservice, we played with scripture mastery ideas. Back in the day we called it "Scripture Chase." We didn't have to memorize the scriptures, but locate them and understand them. From the day I learned the key words, "line upon line," I internalized them. That same scripture chase message serves me now as it did then. "...giving line upon line, precept by precept here a little and there a little..."

We learn line upon line in this life, unexpected to do it all, unexpected to be it all, unexpected to have limitless expectation all at once. I don't think I'm ever going to be an editor. I don't even know that I'll teach writing in a community college setting. I do know that I'm going to teach teens about some of the most plain and precious truths available to man. I've no idea what is planned for me after that, if I'll ever have a degree. I may have missed that boat altogether now, time will tell...--but my favorite scripture is in this year's scripture mastery.

"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart, and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy path."

That's good enough for me.

My individual worth project, to prepare for seminary teaching, my knowledge project, to investigate, make preparations, and enroll in college, and my divine nature value #8, to host a foreign exchange student are now complete. (Though the latter was more like welcoming an unknown family member.) We truly learned to love and adore Clara, who came to us from France.

The lesson I've learned here is--goals don't always turn out as we foresee. There's lessons learned in the process. Sometimes we have to fail and learn to fail better, and the lesson there is that it's okay.

Ready, Set, Rise!

They say it takes three weeks to make a habit. This morning I began my climb to a 4:30 am rise and shine time. The alarm was set for 6 am, and I resisted, but rose shortly after. Summer sleepins are past.

I woke with that well known, "this is not going to be fun" smirk accompanied by annoying sleepy seeds, and to keep myself up, left my bedroom.

A load of blankets was tossed in the washer, and with cocoa in hand, got out my scriptures and my seminary manual. What I didn't expect, and had forgotten, is how lovely the sky looks at 6 am--with the fading brush strokes of a water color sunrise. Before the hot sun, there's also critter activity and I watched and listened as birds called out good morning to one another while pecking in the grass for long juicy worms.

As I studied, I also felt fed as an early bird. So many thoughts came to mind. As much as I'd read my scriptures, I didn't realize I wasn't fully utilizing them or the teaching tools inside. For example, did you know the triple combination has an index for multiple mentions? There are four individuals named Aaron, and each is listed and described to be distinguished in that index. Along with the place called Aaron. I never knew. I'd never thought much about the additional tools designed for deeper understanding. I'd used the JST sometimes, and the topical guide to search out talks, but I realized I am about to use my scriptures like they'd never been used before, and learn like I'd never learned before. I'm about to be challenged as I've never been challenged before and humbled as I've never been humbled.

I thought I was ready when I was called to teach seminary. I thought this value project of training and preparation for Individual Worth was going to be easy and simple. I was feeling excited and fearless. Now that's changed.

After this morning's study, I realize I am nothing. Nothing without the Lord and His guidance. This is more than teaching youth the Old Testament. Seminary is about the building up of youth for life, and in more than one facet. This is instilling visibility as sons and daughter of deity, realization, confidence, testimony, courage, ability, purpose, goals, desire, and determination, rejoicing, repentance, wisdom, knowing. As the Lord showed that to my mind, I felt the weight of responsibility both beautiful and dense, and to be taken seriously. I now feel like a newly called missionary as at the MTC as I attend inservice meetings and try to learn what my role is and how to teach. The real mission starts just three weeks from tomorrow. I'm not the teacher. I'm the student. It's the spirit that teaches us all, I really witnessed that this morning. I'm excited to get to earn new level scriptural understanding.

Who's excited for seminary? For my graduated seminary friends, what is one of your favorite seminary memories?

Name Them One By One

I like listening to the music of Jenny Phillips. As I listen this morning, my heart is swelling filled with gratitude. It's interesting how each time I do Personal Progress the program aligns itself with where I am in life. Even the scriptures read give me varied perspectives and I see things differently.

I'm so grateful for this program that keeps me focused, moving, and ever growing.

I'm also grateful for the many individuals that bring great gifts to my life either in wisdom, example, or just friendship. My knowledge project completed, I've begun my Individual Worth Project which is to really prepare and learn to be a good seminary teacher and start the year strong. I've been going to Inservice meetings where I've been learning things about teaching I've never thought of before, and when I mentioned I was gutting my office, a graduated (adored) laurel voiced, "I want to help!" She came on her own, loving heart that she is, and used her organization talents to help me really gut the the room and all its inhabitants. We went through every file and inch of space. Every now and again she'd say, "This is the Rachael rule: If you haven't used it for a year, out it goes." And I followed her rules and we ousted lots. It was fun. But I'm still amazed. She came wanting nothing more than to help, and that sweet offer still moves me.

So my office is now ready with an empty drawer ready for seminary helps, lessons, ideas, tracked works/ doesn't works. It's also ready for PCC materials, and I am ready to get to work when that time comes.

Today I think about my Highlights Friends and their part in this as well. Since my first Chautauqua experience they have encouraged me, mentored me, and have given me opportunities to grow and give to others, and sometimes were bold about what I needed to do next where Kent would tell me things like, "Lori, you've got to stop thinking of your writing as a hobby or something fun, and treat it as a career. It's time to do school visits." Oh, how I love Highlights, it's family, and all I've learned. I've come from a timid thing to being bold in my career path standing tall and firm, resolute to keep pressing forward to learn and develop what is in me to be and become so I can greater give and serve in all facets of my life. Tomorrow I'd be going to Chautauqua learning and enjoying the company of truly great friends. But I'm going to school, paying my own way instead, at least to start. I made up a word to describe what I'm feeling "sadhappy," but today when I received a response for an apology for not being able to sit at the side of the best presentations coach I know, to glean even more of his wisdom. Sweet Peter sent me a note.

Sadappy, indeed, Lori. But I’d say happysad.

Sure, I’ll miss seeing you and catching up face-to-face. But I think it’s wonderful that you’re heading back to school. You are brave. You are to be admired for never being satisfied and for wanting always to improve yourself. That’s why you’ve done so well. That’s why you’re going to do even better in the long run.

I hope so. I want to do better. What an amazing place in life to be. What amazing ventures lie ahead this year. I'm no longer sadappy or happysad. My heart is filled with joy as I go forward trying to utilize the gifts the Lord has so graciously given me. And my heart is filled with love for those showing me the way and encouraging me in my life's journey. Oh, girls, Personal progress is such a beautiful gift from your loving Father who knows you and all you can become. I hope you embrace it and don't just let it lie. Be true to the royal that is in you. Reach for the highest that is in you. You are great.

Detours and Decisions

My knowledge project didn't quite turn out quite the way I had supposed. I had figured with what I saw in the brochure, that once accepted, George Fox would be a given, but when I went in for a private tour, I witnessed sticker shock. $29,900 annual tuition. Wow. I couldn't justify that kind of debt at my age. So I had to look at options.

PCC has a great transfer program. At $79.00 per credit I can get my General ed classes out of the way, and pay for the classes myself--that's a really great feeling. I can pay my full year's tuition plus get 24 credits and cover books. It feels really good to get to go to school and cover it myself with money I earned. I think I'll appreciate my education so much more for that. I know I'll work hard to get all I can from this experience. The more I think about it, I don't know that becoming an editor is realistic. I live nowhere near NY where all the big houses are, and I rather like where we are. I think I might enjoy teaching, as much as I love teaching writing, and the editing knowledge will still come in handy for my own writing. Who knows, maybe I'll teach writing at PCC.

No matter what we do, it's always good to have a plan B, a secondary plan that also reaches that main goal. My goal is to further my experience and education as a presenter and writer. I have to admit I love the presenting as much as I do the writing. It gives balance as I am just not a solitary person. I like being social.

My education is also expanding a second way. I've just been called to teach seminary, and my heart is just soaring with excitement. It's going to be a neat thing to really delve into the Old Testament and what an honor to teach truth to teens. It's going to be a new and exciting school year filled with determined doitism, faith, and prayer as I learn to do and balance.

I'm more than thrilled that I get to teach our youth, and am excited to continue my, long sought out, education for personal long term growth and service opportunity. PCC, here I come!

What Will You Give Me?

Yesterday's visit to George Fox University became today's game of FARMER, FARMER, LET ME DOWN.

I don't know if you're familiar with this game as teeter-totters are rarely found on today's playgrounds, but in this familiar game of yesteryears, a child sat on either side of the teeter totter. One would shift on the seat, to bear their whole weight, raising the peer to the skies, and render them powerless to return to the ground. The hanging child would then state, "Farmer, Farmer, Let me down."

The captor would then ask, "What will you give me?" The child, still dangling in the air, would then start naming off trade, and when something is heard the captor likes, he/ she changes position and pushes off to transfer power and it is his/ her turn to give up a made up something for self benefit.

Not everything in life is easily obtained. Sometimes we have to make a choice, trading something we want, for something we want more.

In high school we trade the popularity of being part of the partying in crowd, for the peace of knowing we're in the right crowd. We trade social niceties of theatre tickets and new clothes for four wheels and a back seat for friends. We trade free time to hang out, for time cards in employment toward a higher education.

What will you give me? Yesterdays campus visit was eye opening in costs, and I'm faced with a decision as it is more than I'd thought to be fair and make up the difference in what I told my husband, and in what I learned. Have you ever heard the parable of the bicycle?

In a nutshell--a child tells her father "I want a bike." Dad says, "Then save all your pennies."

The determined girl is saving and dad sees how true she is and realizes by the time she has enough for that bike--she'll want a car.

So dad tells the girl to bring her piggy bank. They go to the store and she chooses a bike. She is sad when she sees the amount that rings up on the register. "I don't have enough," she says. To which Dad replies, "You give all you have, and I'll do the rest." That little girl dumps her bank while coins roll on the belt, and clerk counts all her pennies, dimes, and nickels. She proudly rides that bike all the way home, with Dad beaming behind.

This story is used to show how the atonement works, but, I see a new message in self reliance and planning that I think makes the blessing of any one thing, worked for, that much more beautiful.

Sacrifice in any form is an investment in good works, good hearts, and good transformation.

Sacrifice is not a price, but a gift to others or oneself.

My Knowledge project just taught me a valuable truth as I continue with Choice and Accountability #1 in making wise decisions.

I Am a Giddy George Fox Girl!

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow!

I just got an amazing phone call, and suddenly I feel like the girl I was in high school, with a million questions, and a zillion thoughts. My brain is all a happy excited jumble, like a school girl walking by a crush that just smiled at her. I'm giddy, jazzed, wildly overjoyed.

My counselor just called me from George Fox. Tomorrow morning he's invited me to meet with him for a private tour of the school, and he wants to bring me to the English department to meet the teachers saying everyone thinks there's a lot I can bring to the university as well. That made me happy as I like being used. I love being put to work.

So, here we go. My Knowledge project is complete, though the experience is just beginning. I hope I don't blow up the table in chemistry or pass out in dissection. It's the English, the writing, sweet words of the ages that draws me in.

I just love Dad Ries. I just told him the news before posting. He told me to remember it's not about graduation, but about the "transformation and growth of the individual." I like that. It takes the fear factor right out of the equation, placing purpose over the piece of paper. So tomorrow starts my first experience at George Fox, and I go with a smile.