Sometime ago, on a plane trip home from Highlights, I was privileged to sit next to a pilot. She was going home after her long route. We talked about how, ever since she was a little girl, she'd been prepared to fly. She shared the rush she felt when her father took her up in his private plane throughout her childhood, and of all the time she spent on the airfield. She said she was born with wings. As our own pilot warned us about upcoming turbulence, I asked the lady pilot how pilots navigated through the rough. She shot me a straight white smile. "Turbulence," she said, "is what pilots love best. They're like bumps in the road. When there are small controlled air pockets, you generally don't feel them because all we have to do is go higher or lower in elevation to avoid it, just like you'd go around a pothole in the road. It makes the flight boring for the pilot, but we like the boring just because it makes the passengers feel safe. Really, you're safe when you feel turbulence. Air pockets are just like bumps in the road, you just keep going forward because the bigger bumps can't always be avoided."
I thought of this conversation this morning, and caught a glimmer of a lesson as I pondered my latest trial.
I'm not going to go into deep details, but this past year, numerous physical challenges effected my quality of life. I went from heels to flats, from outgoing to quiet, and have been laying low doing just what I can in some facets of my life, and nothing at all in others because I lost the capability to function in those areas--namely my writing and other areas of concentration.
I've been seeing doctors to take care of these changes as they occur. First, were harsh ongoing abdominal pain issues, then came midlife's physical changes, but the worst was the latest, which effected the parts of me that make me who I am. Balance, Muscle strength, and thought process, speech, and retention, memory lapse, concentration. I was having headaches, ringing in the ears, strange changes for me. The change in my wellbeing was so quick, real, and frightening. I kept a journal of all the oddities I noticed happening with my mind and body, which served my doctor well.
My wonderful doctor, who has been my doctor for 14 years, is so good, and knew conditions with me were not right. First, she solved the incredibly painful stomach issues. It took some time but it turned out to be my diet; that being sugar substitutes doing more damage than good for my body. Mid life symptoms warranted blood work. She found B-12 deficiency and need for estrogen. The B-12 is a nervous system vitamin and just in case the gait/ functioning issues were more, she sent me to a neurologist.
Smart cookie that I am--I took my notebook and put in my symptoms altogether on Google. Up popped MS, and as I studied and read about the disease and saw the same signs, I wondered. I have friends living with MS and an aunt who died from it. When I failed the neurosurgeon's finger to my nose test and then his heal to toe gait test, I was bothered and just came out with it. "Could it be MS?"
I learned Doctor's lie.
"I was going to do an MRI," he said, "and lets also do a contrast MRI to give you piece of mind, but no, I don't think you have MS."
Yesterday, I saw the several brain scans. And I saw the same person, but a different doctor. The happy, light tone of first meeting had changed.
I've been on B12 faithfully, and he told me to begin yoga to work on balance. I've been faithful and I am no longer as he called me, "a weeble that wabbles but won't fall down." There was no need for me to over correct to keep myself from falling. My balance was stronger. This time, I touched his finger, then my nose instead of missing, and as we sat to look at the many scans of what he called my "beautiful brain," I was struck by the seriousness of his slow quiet tone. "I was relieved to find no signs of MS," he said. He showed me what an MS brain would look like. My brain had clean lines and looked great all around. As he spoke, I realized that he thought I really could have had MS when he first saw me. That was the only reason for the MRI and contrast MRI. --and then he added in all seriousness with a cracking voice, how happy he was to see what he sees and that he hopes he never has to see me again. Adding he meant that in the kindest way.
You hate getting older because with every doctor visit, you fear with age that something will be found eventually. That moment when that solemn doctor unveiled his true thinking, opened my eyes. And as I thought of that pilot controlling what she has the power to control, I realized she's not so unlike me.
There are some bumps I can go around in choosing better. Health takes care, self discipline, and even self mastery. I almost feel Scrooged, only instead of three ghosts, I saw several brain images. Clean. It makes me want to take better care of myself for keeping young, active, able, and fit.
As for the bumps I can't control... I'll just keep going forward, and let faith smooth it all out.
Choice and Accountability #9
Making choices is part of Heavenly Father's plan for us. The bodies he has given us are our responsibility. Establish a pattern of wise body management by making a plan for workouts and healthy eating, including endurance, strength, and rest (sleep) and menus. Live within this plan for three months. Set priorities that allow you to meet your health and fitness goals. Record what you learn and how following these patterns will continue to bless your life.
No comments:
Post a Comment